Sometimes Midwest Blog readers, material just presents itself . . . .
Today, in the Los Angeles Times, there was story that the Chicago City Council is considering an Ordinace this month that would let dogs eat next to people in outdoor cafes. Quoting from the article, the following:
"There's no reason Chicago can't do this, said Ken Sawyer, Director of Government Relations for the Illinois Restaurant Assn., which has lobbied city politicians to introduce the Ordinance that would modify the city health code, "The laws need to change, as people's attitudes about dining have changed."
Alderman Walter Burnett goes on to say "It seems ridculous that people can't stop off at a cafe for a sandwich and get their pet some water to drink and something to nibble on too."
The LA Times didn't bother calling me about what I thought, but that's what blogs are for. And my reaction is:
Are you kidding me????
Here are my reasons against this Ordinance:
The Rachel Factor
The article goes on to quote Rachel Baker: "I don't have a backyard, so every minute I'm outside without my dog Mitzie, she's stuck back in the condo, said Baker, 28, a lawyer who lives in downtown Chicago. "I've sneaked Mitzie into restaurants in her carrier. If she barks, someone pretends to sneeze. We've mortified friends by doing it, but we've never been kicked out of a restaurant.
Hey Rachel, several points. Get a date for God's sake! But wait a minute, as a man, what guy would want to date a girl who goes around carrying her dog in her handbag? Is it cute? Is it a funny joke? Or is it that Rachel is a nut job who's due to be committed to the Looney Bin in five years? By the way, I'm sure that Mitzie likes being cooped up in a bag while Rachel is slurping down her Sour Apple Martini.
The Bite Factor
Guess what? When provoked, dogs, being the animals they are, will bite people. While the interior of some Chicago restaurants may scare humans, who knows what the dog is thinking? He may be thinking he's going to bite the ass of any person who crosses his path. I'm sure it will be comforting to bite victims that the Ordinance requires dog owners to have proof of Rabies shots.
The Sniff Factor
I don't often go to Fine Dining restaurants, but when I do, I want to enjoy myself. What I don't want to have happen to me while I'm eating my Porterhouse is for somebody's dog trying to sniff my ass (they sniff crotches too, but hey, I'm on a roll). But I guess this isn't any worse than me holding the Porterhouse bone over his head while the dog is crying and barking about a bone he will never get.
The French Factor
I first encountered dogs eating at tables when I worked in Paris for three months. Sitting next to table eating my soup, I heard a slurping sound. Turned around, and I saw a woman holding a dog while the dog was lapping up some water on a dish. She smiled at me and said "Bon Jour." Now, I was faced with a dilemma. Being in France for the first time, I wondered if I should just raise the bowl of soup and start lapping it up like a dog or should I continue using the spoon? I'll never tell. It's amazing though, if I'm out on a date and start lapping up my soup, she's praying to Jesus that she can get out of Dodge. If a dog does it, its cute and snuggly. Go figure.
The Vanity Factor
The article went on to discuss canine menus, "While the City Council considers the matter, Durand (the chef) is putting touches on his $5 prix fixe four course canine menu. Ceramic bowls will have mineral water."
My guess is that the same liberals who want this Ordinance to pass are the same people who are complaining that George Bush and the Republican Party are starving Americans to death with their economic policies. My God, how vain can you get? While millions are literally starving to death and hoping for a glass of clean water to drink, Mitzie gets a plate of Ground Beef and pasta to gnaw on and a bowl of Perrier to lap up. Gee, would the Ancient Romans do no less?
However, since I live in Indiana and not in Chicago. I nominate Carl to lead the charge to defeat this Ordinance. By the way Carl, do you like dogs?